So full of JOY. So full of LOVE. So full of PEACE So full of EMOTIONS.
So full of THANKS.... I am THANKFUL.
When I look at these pictures I am just so full.
When I think back on our last adoption process, my heart swells with love and appreciation for each and everyone of you who went before our Heavenly Father and prayed for us, for those of you who gave so generously, whether is was donations for our garage sale, MONEY, (which this time around we needed EVERY SINGLE PENNY) hand me down clothes for the kiddos, donations for the orphanages when we traveled, and those of you who allowed us to borrow cameras and suitcases for the trip. I am so thankful for all of you who called, e-mailed, hugged, encouraged, and were just present during in the crazy ups and downs during the hard, hard wait.
I now am so thankful again to each one of you who pour love into our sweet little ones! We are truly blessed and I am in awe of the people God has put into our lives and into their lives. Each one of you has touched our family in such a deep, life altering way that is is hard to put into words.
I look at those pictures and I reflect on the struggles we faced during the process, the heart ache during the wait, the ups and downs, the unknown. I think of it and I am so thankful for all of that hurt we experienced because it makes these pictures and our life now that much more FULL!
So excited to announce that our non profit organization Awake and Alive is up and running. www.awakeandalive.org
Our 1st annual Awake and Alive garage sale is happening on June 3rd and 4th. All the money raised is going to educating children in the slum of Ethiopia, called Kechene.
Children like these beautiful little girls will be affected by your generosity.
Awake and Alive will be sending young kids in this area to school. If kids in this region are not able to go to school they will have to help their parents work. Many of the women in this area are widows and they have to take their young children miles up into the mountains to collect sticks to sell for fire wood in the city. Many of these sweet kiddos are not able to attend school because the mother does not have the money to afford a uniform or school books.
If you feel led and are interested in helping change the life of children in Ethiopia by donating some of your spring cleaning or old items to our garage sale please leave a message and I will contact you ASAP.
Because my last post was so heavy, I wanted to post some of the FuNnY things that have been happening around this crazy house!
Claire is obsessed with poop. She always wants to look at it after one of the babies makes a mess. She has told me that she is big enough now to change their diapers. And honestly if they would hold still long enough I think she could do it! But the ironic thing is that she does not want to go in the potty. She will tell me, "no I poop in my diaper." Another funny, Claire has a corner that she always goes to and poops in. There is a gap between our fridge and pantry. Thats where the "magic" happens.Also Claire found out the hard way that when things are thrown in the trash they are gone for good. Yesterday she asked to watch Barney and I was looking all through the DVD's and I could not find it anywhere!! I asked her, "Claire do you know where Barney is?" and she said, "I put him in 'da trash." So there was a life lesson because a few minutes before that I just threw the trash out. :( Barney is no more... Sorry Sweet girl.
Stella has learned that being chased is a BLAST.
And then there is Ben who just laughs at everything.
To say that I was overwhelmed the last month would not even come close to describing how I have been feeling. The 1st 2 weeks of having Stella and Benjamin home was nothing but Dr. appointments and hospital visits. (regular adoption stuff) Stella was scared and teething so I literally could not put her down. If I would put her down to tend to another child I would have to get her distracted first, but that would be short lived and she would come screaming and thrashing back to me. So I held her for a month straight. Ben has had what we thought to be scabies and we have treated him 6 times!!! That also means that we bleached and bagged everything 6 times!! Only now to be referred to a dermatologist because it is not going away. Scabies is HIGHLY contagious and none of us have gotten it. So I am sure that is not the problem. Claire was adjusting to having 2 new ones in the house. Everyone told me how she was acting was normal. But it was not "normal" for me!! Claire has always been so well behaved, well mannered, and so sweet. But since they have been home she has struggled. Its been about a month now where she would throw herself on the ground, throw her head into the wall, hit, scream and just burst into tears for no real reason. I thought I had to be right there for EVERY out burst, every whimper, every laugh. I thought it was my motherly duty to jump at every noise! Not to mention that I still thought my house had to be spotless and laundry had to be done and put away. After a month and a half I have come to the realization that I just have to let some things go. I have learned that I need family,friends, and coffee!!I have learned I can not be there for every fight the girls have. They just have to learn to duke it out.I have learned that just because Ben is quite does not mean he does not need me.I have learned that Claire's fits are her just being 2 and needing extra praise.I have learned that I have to take care of my mental health if my children are going to get a good momma. I have learned that Stella is so much fun, and she is hilarious. I have learned how to see the absolute blessings that God has given me. I have learned that reading to, playing with, kissing and hugging my babies is far more important than having my make up on or my hair done. I have learned that if there are crumbs on my floor and dishes in the sink..its cool, I have a great excuse now! I have learned that not having their teeth and hair brushed every day is not going to make me a horrible mother. I have also learned that some days they might just stay in their PJ's all day and that is OK. But the biggest thing I have learned is that I have to let go of some of my outrageous expectations of myself and of my kids and that has made me a MUCH better momma!
Let me be very honest when I say that I was not able to keep a clean house or keep on on the laundry or spend all the time I wanted to with each kiddo and I was not even making meals at the time my head was spinning like a top. I felt so heavy with guilt and so overcome with the feeling of being inadequate that it would paralyze me.So with a lot of prayer and an amazing husband I was able to see more clearly what is important! I am sure that I will experience these feelings again, but I will always have the hope that things get better.
Thank you Lord for teaching me when I need to be taught!
So full.
