Reflections

Finding time to reflect is a hard thing to do these days. So I am committing to posting one refection from this last year, each week, until the new year.
Reflection #1
Since we have been home I have not truly taken time to reflect on the last years happenings! What an AMAZING year it has been! At the beginning of 2011 we were still not sure that we would financially be able to bring Stella and Benjamin home. We took a huge leap of faith (some would call it reckless and financially irresponsible) and it was humbling to see God move through HIS PEOPLE!
We had to have almost $35,000 in 11 months. By extremely cutting back our personal expenses and the generosity of so many people we were able to have all of our adoption bills paid off. Minus the cost of our flights we put on a card but we were able to pay that off shortly after coming home.
I still feel the love and support of the community that came together and rallied for our family to bring us together! And to all of you THANK YOU! Thank you just does not even begin to touch they way I feel toward all of you who were obedient to God's call to help us to protect and love the fatherless, with out you all we would not of been able to bring 2 of God's precious children into our home.
Thank You Everyone who helped us financially and through prayer!

Yep, our Christmas Tree is up!

Another reason for the Christmas tree!! SNOW!!!

The girls legs hanging out from under the tree! We showed them how to look up and see all the lights!

Daddy lighting up the tree!

To say that I am in the Christmas Spirit this year would be an understatement! I was thinking about why the excitement of the season really caught me this year, after after thinking about it for a just second it dawned on me...last year we were in Ethiopia visiting Stella and Ben! We did not even really get to celebrate it last year!

Last year was one of the most emotionally pulling, emotionally draining, roller coasters of my life!

To many people the holidays are a great time to reunite, gather together, and enjoy each other company. (At least that is what we believe to be true from magazines and talk shows HA) So while we were suppose to be gathering together as a family over the holiday season Darin and I left our sweet baby Claire here in the states and we flew half way around the world to be with our other daughter and our son! So this year we are making up for lost time celebrating together as a family, we are all together home safe and sound and in love with each other more then I could of possibly imagined or hoped for!! So the Christmas tree and Christmas music came out early this year!

Benjamin: Last year at this time Ben was still in Ethiopia.

Benjamin: Now; Sweet, Happy, and home!

Stella: Last year still in Ethiopia

Stella: Precious, Pretty, Happy and HOME!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Why do we read blogs?

Is it just another form of entertainment?

Is it to be motivated?

Is it to be inspired?

Is it to get a glance at others lives?

Is it to become one big net work of people?

These are just a few questions I have been tossing around in my head lately.

I know why I blog. I blog to let people in on what it is like to be an unconditionally loving, imperfect, adopted, interracial, christian family. My hopes are that this blog might inspire just one family adopt!
There are so many defenseless, hopeless, mother/fatherless children out there who NEED YOU!
On the other hand I blog to bring awareness to what it happening in Ethiopia. You see my children are one of the few who got placed into a loving family. There are millions of orphans in Ethiopia alone who will never have a loving family unit. They will grow up in an orphanage...in an institution.
And then there is an entire other group of children who grow up on the streets of Ethiopia. These children are the children Awake and Alive is targeting. There is a group of young children being left at home (home is a few pieces of scrap metal put together) for up to 12 hours. Their mothers can not afford to put them into school. So there they sit all day long. Some are as young as 4!! I know all of us know some one who is 4 or close to that age! Can you imagine them being left home all day?!?

Please help Awake and Alive get these children off the streets! I can not do it alone!

If you can not give lot that is understandable but I KNOW THAT ALL OF US CAN GIVE SOMETHING! even if it is just $1!
Lets show those precious children in Kechene that they matter!!! It could of been one of my children...or yours out on the streets!
Lets not let where a child was born determine weather they live or not! They are extremely vulnerable out on the streets!
I need each one of you to give! This is where blogging goes from just reading and calls you to action!

Joy to Frustration

What do you do when parenting turns from one of the biggest joys in your life to one of the biggest sources of frustration?!
That is the question I am offering up today. I do not have the answer as I am in the thick of the frustration! I love my children and I know that God picked each one of them and put them specifically in our home to be raised as a Shrock. :) My love is unconditional. I am keeping it real and I am at a bit of a low point...

What has been frustrating me?

The constant fighting and bickering between the kids. I am always breaking up fights. I wish I knew how to explain to a 2 year old and 2 one years olds that it is much more fun to be nice to each other!!
One of them is climbing on everything! She does not know boundaries! Nor does she have a fear of heights! I have found her on the kitchen table, on top of our entertainment center, she has pushed chairs up the the counter and been up there more times then I can remember, she will quietly go into the bathroom climb up on the toilet and get into all kinds of things in the bathroom she should not. This will all happen in a matter of a morning. So I am pulling her off of things constantly!
They are into EVERYTHING! Ask anyone who comes to our house, it is as baby proofed as possible, still some how I find myself telling them the N word (NO) almost 100 times a day for touching things they are NOT to touch!! The TV is a hot spot lately as are the DVD's, toilet paper, the outlets, (they have the covers on them but that does not stop them from trying to take them off) my phone, the computer, my camera, diapers and wipes will be pulled out and thrown all over the house...sigh...
The 2 youngest are teething. So they are just plain mean to each other these days. Hitting, screaming, biting, screaming, pinching, taking toys, screaming...did I mention there is a lot of screaming lately?! My oldest likes to egg them on by taking something she knows they love, so they will produce a body chilling, shrill scream that makes me want to go through the roof!

These things sound petty as I am rereading them but when I am with them for up to 12 hour a day and I am breaking up fights and chasing kids for about 10 hours of that one day only to get up the next day and do it again it is emotionally and physically exhausting!

How do I handle the frustration?

I try to be as calm as possible. I do not want escalate their already frustrated little selves. Most of the time while they are in the heat of a little fight I will remove them and set them in the time out corner. They stand in the corner for 2 minutes. Then in very simple words I tell them what they did that was wrong..."No Screaming"..."No Hitting" but it only take 30 seconds before they are at each others necks or into something again!! It is very draining.

I am questioning myself.

Am I a good parent? Are the ways I am handling these kiddos correct? Why do they keep doing the same naughty things over and over...what am I doing wrong?

I am frustrated that I am frustrated!

I am a women who counts her blessings and know I am blessed by these little ones beyond comprehension. So I am so mad at myself for being FRUSTRATED WITH THEM! I do not like to have frustrated angry feelings, especially at my children! Just because I do not want to have these feelings does not mean that I can stop feeling them.

I desperately need a new fresh perspective on how to parent and find the joy in the chaos!

Ideas and resources welcome!